My little brother Syafiq :)

My little brother is amazing! He's only form three 15 years old but I sometimes feel like I can learn a lot from him. He's not a genius or good at sports or anything. But he's such a wonderful caring and kind person! Everyone loves him. He's constantly trying to make everyone around him feel good. Whenever he gets something nice he usually comes and shares it with me. Whenever he's shopping with my mum she'll spend hours on explaining why she can't buy all those things - all those things he wants to buy for ME, not for himself.

I know I was always annoyed by my grandmother telling everyone how perfect and flawless I am and now I'm finding myself doing the same thing. He's just wonderful and I'm so glad to have him in my life. When he was born I actually asked my mum to trade him for a girl (I was 10... :) )

I also know he looks up to me a lot and it scares me. I'm really not the kind of person you'd want your kid to look up to. I haven't done anything really bad. I never did drugs or smoked. if anything I missed out on a lot of life experience. But I'm really messed up. I struggle with so many problems that I barely have to strength to look out for him anymore and I feel like he'd deserve so much better! He's been through so much with my family... the same stuff that got me where I am today. And I'm so scared that it might haunt him one day like it haunts me. He was too small to know what i know but there have sure been some traumatic experience in his childhood. He's more careful and more scared to lose people than he should be at his age. He should be fighting me instead of clinging to my every word. He should yell back when I yell at him. But he is who he is. And I'm very very proud at that little person!